The Peg Explanation

According to Pickles he lost his beloved flipper off the coast of Madagascar in a sword fight with Major Stede Bonnet. The Major was an infamous pirate who learned pirating from Teach Blackbeard himself. It seems that prior to Pickles joining the crew Stede had paid a Sir Nicholas Trott Esq., who at that time was the judge of the Vice-Admiralty Court, to fake his death on the gallows. A man who had been arrested for public drunkenness and apparently had accidentally fallen asleep in Trott’s wife’s bed was hung for piracy on December 10, 1718.

Pickles claims he had been in the service of “The Man of Letters” as Pickles always refers to him for several years when he was sent ashore at a small port near Madagascar to secure provisions. Pickles always pauses here and looks far away and gets all cute and mushy. While there, he says, he laid eyes on the one, the love of his life, the missing part of himself that he had never even been aware of. From the moment their eyes connected he recalls, the landscape shifted, silence fell on his heart and no thoughts he had ever entertained before were allowed voice. He says they stayed like that for what seemed like hours just in awe of the connection but all the time slowly moving closer until finally the proximity was overwhelming and they fell into each other’s arms. He says they spent the entire afternoon enthralled in passion rarely speaking and then only in whispers of vague confirmations that all feelings were mutual. No concept of responsibility to anything other than this love seemed to even matter anymore. Then as darkness invaded the evening and the details of their features began to dim. An explosion of men entered their room and dragged Pickles away. He fought them he said but still half in shock and half in wonder he failed. These were Willington’s men he was first mate on Stede’s ship. He was taken back to the vessel and charged with derelict of duty. He was flogged but he says all that was a blur in his memory. As the lashes struck him he watched the last sight of land disappear on the horizon and swore inwardly that he would return no matter what the cost. His wounds were treated and he was lead to mess in the galley. Stede showed up there, which was very unusual. He talked to Pickles briefly about his absence but said that all was forgiven. Then just as he was about to leave he turned and asked Pickles if the soup was good? Pickles responded “yeah, fine.” A chorus of laughter arose lead by Stede. Pickles then realized that it was CHICKEN STEW! His love was supper! His soul mate was soup! Rage over took him, and something inside -something that held things in place broke. He pulled his pants back up and began to fight! He says that things got blurry again for a while but he knows that he killed at least three men with the spoon he had used to sip his dearest and seriously wounded several others with his beak and bare wings.
His next clear memory he says was on deck. He had somehow gained possession of a saber and was pulling it out of Willington when before he could turn and attack. “The Man of Letters” thrust his sword into Pickles’ wing. The penguin never stopped his mad season of killing, however, taking out two crewmembers as he hobbled and wobbled toward his prey. Stede stepped forward again and engaged Pickles. The Man of Letters was the best swordsman that Pickles had ever seen. He had no hope of winning but his rage and hunger were for death and his own would suffice if Stede’s could not be secured. But they fought on and on. Pickles rage never allowing Major Bonnet to gain the upper hand in the duel. He says that he was so saturated by pain of every kind that it provided a clarity in the fight that he had never experienced. It blocked every distraction. The ship “The Revenge” was on fire around them evidently coming from the galley where the ship’s cook lay skewered on the grill. Men were screaming in agony of their wounds as they desperately fought the fires and tried to keep them from reaching the powder room. The blood of every creature on board was smeared across the deck with the exception of Stede’s own.
Some of the men lowered a skiff into the water and began to fight over who was going in it. The ship was completely engulfed now and only time stood between Pickles and his goal. He knew now that whether he could defeat “The Man of Letters” with the sword or not. It did not matter. “The Revenge” was lost. The explosion or the depths would do his deadly job for him.
Stede however, had other plans and although not able to strike a decisive blow was well in control of the fight he worked his way over to just above the skiff. When he saw his chanced, he leapt. Pickles thrust his short saber in his beak and jumped over board after him. There were several men already in the water fighting to get into the skiff but The Man of Letters had already killed several and managed to climb in and began defending the craft. It was really only big enough for 3 or 4 men and when the last of the men in the water had given up Stede turned on the 5 in the boat. Pickles saw his chance. Swimming with speed only a penguin could muster he was in the boat in a matter of seconds. He took out the last man in the back just as Stede was pushing one off the front. Pickles and Stede both grabbed oars and began to paddle soon an explosion blew past them and the heat singed. Debris rained into the skiff and both Pickles and Stede were knocked out. Pickles said he drifted in and out of consciousness for about 3 days and when he finally snapped out of it his leg was missing. Stede was awake and sitting in the bow of the boat picking his teeth. Pickles said that the Major looked really smug and simply said “What? I was hungry.”
Pickles replied, “Well here, be my guest.” And leaped onto Stede prying his mouth open and climbing inside and forcing his way down his throat saber in hand. This is the part of the story that Pickles likes the best and he gets very graphic and excited and starts slobbering and frothing all over himself. He works himself up into a lather with all the gory details of what happened next. I wont. You can use your imagination if you’re a sicko or as I prefer to do just hum quietly to yourself until he gets finished. In the end though his summation I guess is accurate. He always insists that Major Stede Bonnet died of food poisoning.

He actually took a femur from “The Man of Letters” corpse and had it fashioned to serve as his peg. Pickles says he was rescued a week later by a clipper named The Victoria. He says it was full of corset models bound for a fashion show in New York. He further asserts that while his leg healed and he was pampered by young corset models and drowned his sorrows in boos, and Fen-Phen (the only drug on board). He also claims to have learned a very important secret of life aboard that vessel, but that’s another story.